Guess Who’s Coming Back to LOST?

Lost Logo
…SPOILERS AHEAD…

Guess who’s coming back to LOST? Cynthia’ Watros will be come back in her role as Libby in multiple episodes! Right now people are thinking that means she’ll be in flashback episodes. After last year’s finale, it could be a flash-forward. For all we know she could come back as a zombie.

Man, I hope not.

Anyway, it’ll be good to see how her whole story fits into the grand scheme of things. I suspect that Libby was a lot more sinister than we’ve been lead to expect so far.

Via TV Guide

Kitchen Nightmare’s Episode 1 – Peter’s Italian Restaurant

Gordon Ramsey
Great premiere episode of Kitchen Nighmares, the American version of Gordon Ramsey’s British Show “Ramsey’s Kitchen Nightmares”.

Quick summary:

Gordon went into Peter’s Italian Restaurant to find the kitchen on its last legs, rotten food, and a broken fridge. Most of the people in the restaurant considered Peter (one of the co-owners) part of the problem.

As is usually (but not always) the case, Gordon was able to turn the place around. I was quite surprised to see that Peter changed so much. I have to give Peter a lot of credit, I think he’s really helping in the restaurant’s success. Hopefully they’re still doing well.

You can really tell that Gordon cared about what happens at the restaurants he’s trying to help, and despite what others have said on other blogs, he definitely shows a much softer side than his appearances on Hell’s Kitchen. Running a kitchen, and helping to bail out someone else’s kitchen are to very different things, and these shows show that difference.

You might be wondering what the main differences are between the American version and the British version of the shows are.

The biggest difference was that in the British version, Gordon does the voice overs for the show himself. They have someone else doing the voice overs for the American version of the show. Personally, I like it better when Gordon does them because it feels like he’s leading you through the process.

The second big difference is that I don’t recall ever seeing Gordon revamping a kitchen like he did on the show tonight. New ovens, a stand-up fridge, new plates, etc. There might have been one BBC show where he did this, but not to this extent.

All in all, I wonder if this show is going to last, only because it seems like more of a show you’d see on Food Network or Bravo. I hope it does stick around though, because I really enjoyed it.

Summary of Prison Break – Season Three – Episode 1

Prison Break – Season 3 – Episode 1 – “Orientación”

As in every prison show, the scene open with a woman applying makeup to her face… a face with dramatic scratches.

Elsewhere, it’s raining on Michael who’s surrounded by a lot of guys that appear to be really excited about the rain. Michael even sees Mahone, who looks even less happy to be in the rain with a bunch of excited guys than Michael does.

It turns out that it’s not the rain that everyone is excited about. It’s… A guy shaking a chicken foot that he must have found in a bucket of KFC, and he’s mad at the clerk that gave it to him, and he throws it into the mud. Now not only does he have a chicken foot, but it’s muddy chicken foot. This doesn’t make him any happier.

While this is going on, Lincoln talks to a guy at the US Consulate who isn’t any help whatsoever to Michael, but sure knows a lot about the prison Michael is in. Turns out that it was voted the Worst Prison Ever at the Academy of Prisons Awards show last month. The problem is, it’s pretty much a convict hotel: Convicts check-in, but they don’t check-out. Even the guards have left. Nobody told the inmates, because they’re still in there.

Now, back at the prison, the guy with the chicken bone is beating up the other guy, and kills him. Right afterwards he realizes his mistake, and now he doesn’t have anybody to complaint to about that chicken foot.

Commercials

Back at the US Consulate the next morning, Lincoln is talking with the guy in charge, who called someone that must be pretty connected with the Panama City police, because they’re trying to get Michael transferred to a “more modern” prison. I think that means one without so much rain, mud and chicken waving maniacs. Then he tells Lincoln that the whole “someone framed you for the death of the vice president’s brother” thing is all wrapped up, and there’s no problem! Except for the whole “Michael is in a really, really bad prison” problem, which the Consul has a problem focusing on because he’s more interested in finding Michael and Lincoln’s dad. Lincoln asks him to focus on the Michael problem.

There’s good news and bad news and good news: The good news is, all the crime scene checks out because they found a gun. The bad news is, the bag of money is gone. The good news is that Michael should be getting transferred to a new prison, and will likely have the charges dropped.

At the prison, the guy from the previous night is still dead in the middle of the courtyard, but the mud has completely dried up! They have great drainage at this prison. Michael wakes up and see Bellick all beaten up and staggering around in his underwear, which as horrifying as seeing Bellick all beaten up staggering around in his underwear. Bellick mistakes a couple of guys in the courtyard for concierges, and asks for some water. They’re pretty new at this, so they tell him he can drink some muddy water. (The only muddy water in the courtyard, it appears). Bellick tells them, “Bite me”, which goes over just about as well as you could expect in a prison yard. The concierges leave after splashing Bellick with the mud, and another prisoner helps him out of the courtyard.

Elsewhere in the prison, Mahone sits around watching a couple of guys play darts while having a lot of flashbacks to better times: his family, press conferences, shooting people and getting away with it. Mahone sees Michael come in from the courtyard and confronts him. He congratulates Michael for the drugs that got planted on the boat that got him thrown into prison, but swears he’ll get out soon. He talks pretty loudly, and a lot of the prisoners overhear all the talk of arresting people and working for the government. That’s pretty much a big no-no to let people know about in a place like this. Anyway, despite all this, Mahone is willing to let all that go, and wants to make a partnership with Michael. Michael says at would be OK except for one tiny thing: Mahone killed Michael’s dad. Of all the things Mahone could have done, he picks one of the very things that Michael would get upset about.

Outside of the prison, a woman is yelling in Spanish. Fortunately, she comes with subtitles so we can read what she’s saying. Someone called to let her know that her husband was killed in prison last night! Whoa! This prison has working telephones too? At least the question about the guards is answered. They’re all OUTSIDE of the prison, patrolling around it.

Lincoln shows up and heads for the guard station. The guard just let a nun into the prison… ALONE. That’s either one gutsy nun or one stupid guard. Maybe both. Lincoln goes in, and suddenly the guard speaks English better than most Americans. He tells Lincoln that once he’s inside the prison he’s: 1) On his own, 2) not supposed to help anyone escape, and 3) going to be shot if they even think he’s going to help some escape. I think Lincoln’s pretty clear on the “no escape” part.

They must have a pretty good public address system, because it takes Michael no time at all to get to Lincoln. This is one amazing prison. Quiet too. They exchange a few pleasantries about Michael being the one in jail now, while Lincoln is free. Before they can break into a chorus of “Isn’t It Ironic”, Lincoln says that Michael is due to be transferred to a new prison by tomorrow. Michael pretty much ignores this and wants to hear about Sara, Lincoln doesn’t know where she is, but suspects that she might have left the show for another show on another network, and says he’ll see Michael tomorrow.

Michael, from the safety of that area he was just in… the area with NO OTHER INMATES, decides to go back into the courtyard again. Oh sure, there’s a kid that wants to talk about basketball, but that lasts about 20 seconds when a group of men come up to Michael and tell him it’s time for “orientation”.

Somewhere else in the prison, we find out that nuns down in South America are a LOT different than nuns other places… well, at least this nun is. She either wasn’t a nun in the first place, or she’s going to have to say about a million prayers after confession for what she did with one of the prisoners. The prisoner she was with is doing aerobics with a flat screen TV, which is another perk of this prison. A group of men are brought into the room, including Mahone and Michael.

The guy that was doing aerobics turns out to be the head honcho at the prison, and wants to know if any of the men have anything to tell him. No one says anything, but he knows all about Michael from CNN. That makes, phones, flat screen televisions, visits from fake nuns, and either cable or satellite dishes that get CNN. I promise not to be surprised if they have a Starbuck’s too.

Oh oh… he knows about Mahone too, because of those prisoners that were listening earlier when Mahone was shooting his mouth off.

The last guy Mr. Aerobics confronts gets so scared that he starts peeing his pants, and since he’s not standing on newspaper, Mr. Aerobics gets really REALLY mad. Doesn’t kill him though. He tells everyone that now he has “mind control”. I’m not sure if the Amazing Randi would want to debunk this guy, so we’re going to have to take his word for it. He tells everyone to get out.

Now that everyone’s gone, he starts talking to the “nun” again. Aerobics says that he’s pretty sure Michael has a lot of charisma, so it could turn out to be a problem. He asks “nun” whether she thinks Michael is good looking, and she says that he’s not as good looking at Aerobics is…. not even Aerobics believes that, and throws her out too.

Commercials

Back at prison, they’re playing rock music, while Michael has flashbacks about Sara.

Lincoln asks around about Sara with some authorities, but they’re pretty sure she’s left the show too.

Again back at prison, the guy who helped Bellick walks across the courtyard. This guy is wearing boxers (Bellick was wearing tighty-whities…must be some sort of underwear club). Anyway, one of the prisoners comes over to Bellick and his friend and tells them it’s time to work. They all head for the bathroom, which needless to say is very disgusting and doesn’t have any toilet paper left, and tells them to clean it up. As you might imagine, they’re pretty excited about this.

Aerobics comes out to the courtyard to view his domain, while Michael decides to go for another stroll through it, instead of keeping his head down and waiting for tomorrow. One of Aerborics men comes to tell him that there’s yet ANOTHER American that has joined them, and this guy has a creepy hand. It’s T-Bag!

Michael spots T-Bag right away, and of course, T-Bag spots Michael. And before anything else can happen, the front desk pages Michael, telling him he has a visitor.

Michael goes out to the visitors area again to meet someone named Elliot Pike, who says he’s not a lawyer, but has plenty of “big guns” behind him. Pikes speaks in several more clichés, telling Michael that once he’s out of prison, they can “help” him. Michael decides Pike is just a little too cliché-ridden, and leaves.

More music…this time from steel drums! In the prison! Man, Panama has some strick laws if they’re throwing musicians in prison for playing steel drums.

Back at cell 44, Michael looks around and starts to get comfy when another prisoner attacks him. He thinks that Michael took something of his. Nearly instantly, Aerobics comes down with his men and breaks up the fight. Michael is searched – nothing. His bed is searched, and tada! They find white powder in a plastic bag, blaming it on Michael. Aerobics gets REALLY harsh and calls them both scumbags, which is clearly uncalled for. The prison who attacked Michael threatens him again, and leaves.

Lincoln continues to look for Sara using the absolutely worst picture he could find. Sara looks like her eyes are going to pop out of her head in that picture. It’s not clear where Lincoln is, but it looks like he’s resorted to going to random offices to ask people about Sara.

Lincoln’s phone rings! It’s the constable he talked to earlier. Good news! They might have found Sara! Bad News! She’s at the morgue.
Bellik and his friend try and get something to eat in the courtyard, but all they get from the guy who’s cooking is the bone he was just chewing on. This place might have phones, televisions, and the rest, but their cafeteria is nothing to write home about. They head back into the prison, and Bellik’s friend sees a window that looks like it can be pushed out – and sure enough, it can! How something like that got past hundreds of prisoners… well, it just must be a prison miracle. He pushes the window out.

T-Bag catches up with Michael, and wants to chat about why the heck they ended up at Sona (which is the name of the prison they’re visiting this season).

Suddenly, someone starts yelling “Runner!” What kind of bozo yells “Runner!” when someone tries to escape? Shouldn’t they just keep quiet about that, and join the escape instead of alerting the guards? Nope… not at this wacky prison. The guards yell for Bellik’s friend to stop. Bellick yells, “No! No!” but Bellick’s friend doesn’t listen. The guards throw a bunch of bullets at him using their machine guns, and he dies. Bellick is pretty upset about seeing the guy shot, even though he just met him. Michael didn’t even meet him and he’s upset too. But probably not as upset as he is when he heads back to his cell and finds a chicken foot just sitting there. Two things are for sure: A) They really like KFC at that prison, and B) There’s going to be a fight.

Commercials

At the morgue, Lincoln goes in to view the body and …. it’s not Sara! He can tell because it doesn’t look like her and Sara moved around a lot more than this women does.

Back at Sona Prison, Michael goes to see Aerobics about that chicken foot, protesting that he doesn’t even like KFC. Aerobics says that’s not his problem. Michael tells Aerobics that he knows that he’s been set up, and leaves.

Now, interestingly enough, Gollum or a close approximation has been listening to this conversation through an air vent that leads into the basement. The very basement that Bellick is dumping some garbage to be burned. The man whistles (well, kind of whistles) to Bellick, and offers him something to eat in exchange for running an “errand”. Bellick thinks it’s chicken he got a taste of, but the guy (who’s Australian) says it’s not. (He doesn’t say what it is, but I think it’s safe to say we’re going to find out it something nasty).

In the city, Lincoln gets a phone call and finds out that LJ is in Panama. LJ says he got the number from Sara, who got it from the consulate. He wants to meet at 8:30pm at the top of the Garfield Price building. The phone call ends. Nothing suspicious about THAT phone call. Nope. Not a thing. Anyway, the camera pans out and Lincoln took the call from the top of a big building. There must be great reception up there for his cell phone, or it must be easy to look for Sara from up there. Maybe both.

Michael sits in his cell while the reset of the inmates excitedly clean up the yard with the spare bodies that have been laying around.

T-Bag somehow makes friends with Aerobics out in the courtyard by offering to clean his shoes, and then not even doing that because of his hand. That T-Bag sure is a charmer. (eeech!)

Mahone goes to visit Michael and gives him some advice about fighting dirty (point at the sky, yell, “Turtle!”, and then punch him…. if that doesn’t work, just go for the kneecap. Mahone believes Michael is his only way out of prison alive.

Bellick goes up to Michael as Michael goes out into the courtyard, and gives him a note. Then Bellick does the same thing to the guy who’s going to fight Michael. Guess the Australian guy figures that whoever ends up dying will be pulled out of prison (dead) and the note will be found by someone.

Aerobics tells everyone the rules: No killing utensils, and there are rules to fighting because they’re not savages. Except for the killing part.

Michael stares at the other guy for a moment and says, “I’m not going to fight”. The guy turns to look at Aerobics, and whoops! Michael was lying! He kicks the guy in the knee, and he goes down. Michael beats the guy up, and then tries to leave, but the crowd won’t let him.

Aerobics stands up and tells him that there really is a rule: Only one man comes out alive.

Commercials

The inmates continue to yell while they fight each other. Michael hits the guy, who goes down. Michael tries to leave again, when someone throws the other guy a knife. He stands up to attack Michael, and Mahone steps in to save him. Mahone beats the snot out of the guy, killing him, and quotes Aerobics speech back to him, which doesn’t make Aerobics very happy.

Lincoln tries to get into the restaurant at Garfield place, but they won’t let him in because he smells pretty bad and he’s not wearing a jacket. After buying a jacket from a busboy, he gets in, despite the smell. He walks to a bar outside, and a woman starts talking to him. It’s the woman from the beginning of the show. He doesn’t want anything to do with her until she calls him “Lincoln” and pushes a phone to him, telling him that he should talk to the person on the phone.

At the prison the next day, the woman who’s been yelling at the guards is still out there, and watches while Bellick’s friend is finally taken away.

The guards set up some kind of exchange (water or gasoline…can’t tell which) and the dead men from inside the prison are brought out. The inmates go back inside, and the guards shoot the dead bodies just to be sure they’re extra dead and don’t come back as zombies.

The bodies are dumped outside, and one of the workers tells the young woman that the bodies are going to be buried right there on the spot unless someone in their families comes to claim them. The truck drives away, and the woman searches for notes on the dead bodies! She finds the note that Bellick planted on the guy Michael fought. The note says, “Versailles 1989 V Madrid”. Michael finds the same note in his pocket.

Lincoln comes to see Michael, and it turns out that Michael isn’t getting out today after all. Some people have Sara and LJ, and want Michael to bust “James Whistler” out of the jail. They made a video of LJ on a Treo even! Great connectivity with the cell phone network. That prison has everything. Anyway, Michael has one week to get Whistler out of there or LJ and Sarah die.

This Season On Prison Break: T-Bag STILL doesn’t like Michael! Mahone tells everyone Michael set him up! Deals are made! Scary envelopes are pushed under doors! Alliances are forged! Sucre is back! Michael attempts to break out of prison AGAIN!

24 – Two Days Later – Episode 17 – 11 am to 12 noon

24 – Two Days Later – Hour 17

The following takes place between 11 am and 12 noon, and is part of an ongoing documentary.

11:00 am – Chloe, Morris, Jack and Bill are standing in an office parking lot. Jack is still wearing the Batman costume. A tall man standing next to his car in the parking lot looks very startled at seeing the group appear out of nowhere. He slowly starts walking towards the building, and then when he thinks he can make it, runs for the building and goes inside yelling, “MICHAEL!”

Jack says, “Chloe, give me my clothes. I have to find a place where I can change back to my street clothes.” They go inside the building. Jack runs into a men’s room with his clothes to change. Chloe, Morris and Bill wait outside.

11:03 am – Inside the building, there’s an office where people are working in an open area. Desks are everywhere, and people work at computers, take phone calls, and process paperwork. The man from the parking lot runs into the room and heads straight for the receptionist and a young man, carrying a coat and briefcase, who is talking to her.

The man says, “Pam! Jim! Plan 920! Implement Plan 920! Where’s Michael!?”

Pam says, “What? Dwight?”

Pam and Jim watch as Dwight runs into Michael’s office.

Jim walks over to his desk to drop off the coat and briefcase he’s carrying. He opens his desk, and the contents have been completely encased in solid Styrofoam.

[ The scene shifts to Pam in a conference room, speaking to a camera ]

Pam: I think it was Dwight. Jim’s always playing pranks on him. Yesterday he filled Dwight’s desk with ping pong balls.

11:05 am – Back in Michael’s office Dwight says, “I was just in the parking lot! I saw four people appear out of nowhere! One of them is dressed like Batman! Implement Plan 920!”

Michael looks out of his office window, but doesn’t see anything. “Well, there’s no one there now. Did you get enough sleep last night?”

Dwight looks desperate: “Michael, listen to me! Four people materialized in the parking lot!”

Michael says, “Look, if people are collecting money in the parking lot, that’s up to them. Even if they decide to dress up like Batman.”

Dwight shakes his head, “No, I mean they appeared out of thin air. And only one of them was dressed like Batman. They don’t know how to dress like us! We have to implement Plan 920!”

Michael cuts him off. “Dwight, just stop it!”

11:06 am – Back downstairs in the lobby, Morris says, “I wonder what we’re going to find here?”

Bill replies, “I don’t know, but it’s kind of weird that we’re in an office building. You don’t think those terrorists set up an office, do you?”

After a few minutes, Jack comes back out in his own clothes. He says, “I had to stash that Batman outfit behind one of the toilets, but I took the utility belt. We’ll come back for it later.”

Chloe goes over to Jack and pulls out his shirt so it covers the belt. “That way you won’t look like a goof.” She points at a directory on the wall near the elevator and says, “I think we have to go upstairs. There are some offices up there.”

Commercial

11:14 am – They get off the elevator and enter an office. A receptionist answers the phone, “Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam. … I’m sorry, but Michael is busy right now. I’ll have him call you back.” She looks up and sees Chloe, Morris, Bill and Jack. “May I help you?”

A man comes out of his office followed closely by the tall man they saw downstairs in the parking lot. The man says, “Michael Scott, Head Honcho. What can I do you for?”

The tall man whispers loudly to Michael, “Plan 920! Plan 920!”

11:16 am – [ The scene shifts to Jim sitting in the conference room ]

Jim speaks to the camera: “When Dwight first became assistant to the regional manager, he came up with contingency plans for every conceivable problem that might happen around here.”

[ Switch to Dwight, in the same conference room ]

Dwight: “A good assistant regional manager has to be prepared for any office emergency. I’ve handed out a pamphlet explaining them all, and issue quarterly updates with changes and new editions. It’s right in here.” He holds up a red notebook labeled: Dunder Mifflin – Emergency Procedures – Scranton Branch, opens it and points, “Plan 920: Alien invasion.”

[Switch back to Jim]

Jim: “Dwight’s book? I used it under one of the legs on my desk to make it level.”

[ The scene shifts back to Michael talking to everyone ]

11:18 am – Michael says, “Stop it, Dwight! These are completely normal people!” Michael looks at the group and says, “Well, for computer people, I mean.” He laughs. He turns to the other people in the office, and says, “Attention, everyone! Attention! The people I asked corporate for are here. They’re going to help us with our computers. Now, I want you to be nice to them, because they’re computer nerds, and not used to interacting with people.”

Pam looks embarrassed, “Michael…”

Jack tries to interrupt, “Uh, excuse me, I think that you’ve…”

Michael continues, oblivious to Pam’s embarrassment and Jack’s interruption. “I want you to give these computer geeks whatever access they need to help clean out that virus that’s going around.”

11:22 am – [ Switch to Michael in his office, talking to the camera ]

Michael: “I get a lot of e-mail every day. You’d be surprised at the number of women in Eastern Europe that contact me just wanting a friend. I also get quite a bit of e-mail from Nigeria, asking for my personal assistance. They send me attachments all the time, and I open everything. It’s important to be thorough and follow up on every lead in a job like mine. Now, somehow, we’ve gotten a problem on the computer network, and I’m way behind on my e-mail.”

[ Switch back to Michael talking to Jack and company ]

Michael says, “We don’t have much room here, so I had the people in the warehouse clear out some space for you to work. Jim, I want you to take these people down to their offices. I gave the warehouse staff the rest of the week off, so they shouldn’t be disturbed down there.”

Dwight hesitates, and says, “I can help them, Michael.” He turns to Jack, “What do you say, Batman? I can take you down to your office.”

Michael shakes his head, “Dwight, just stop it.” He turns to Jim, “Jim, can you take these people downstairs to their offices?”

Commercial

11:29 am – Chloe starts to try and explain to Jim what’s going on, but Jack motions for her to stay quiet. Jim takes Jack, Chloe, Morris, and Bill downstairs to a set of desks in a corner of the warehouse and then heads back upstairs.

Chloe says, “NOW what are we supposed to do? That guy upstairs thinks we’re here to fix his computers!”
Jack says, “Well, can’t you?”

Chloe says, “Of course I can! But what has that got to do with catching the people we’re chasing after?”

Jack says, “I have no idea… You know how this goes! We’ll know when something happens.”

Bill whispers, “Psst! Jack! That Dwight guy is watching us!”

11:31 am – Dwight is watching through the door at the top of the staircase.

[ Switch to Dwight in a conference room ]

Dwight: Usually aliens have apparatus that they need to use to breath in our atmosphere.

He thinks for a moment and continues.

Dwight: They’re not using anything like that. I might be wrong about them

[ Switch back to the warehouse ]

11:32 am – Jack lowers his voice says, “Morris and Chloe, go back upstairs and see if you can find out what’s going on with their computers. Just act like we really belong here, and don’t create a scene. If those terrorists are around here, we don’t want to tip them off. Bill and I will check around the warehouse.”

11:33 am – Chloe and Morris both head upstairs, and Dwight is gone by the time they reach the top. They re-enter the office area, and meet Michael.

Michael says, “Well! All settled in then? I forgot to ask you your names.”

Morris shakes his hand, “I’m Morris and this is Chloe.”

Michael turns to Morris and says, “Are those other guys coming up to help? Or is it just you and your secretary?”

Chloe says, “WHAT?”

Morris turns his head whispers, “Calm down! Calm down!” Chloe stops talking. Morris turns to Michael and says, “We’re both computer experts.”

Michael laughs, “What? I’ve never seen women on those Geek Squad commercials. Are you sure she can handle it?”

Morris reaches back and keeps Chloe from taking a swing at Michael, “I can assure you that she can handle it. We should have your systems running better in no time.”

Michael tells Chloe, “You can start with Angela’s computer over there in accounting, and then Kelly’s and Meredith’s.” He leans over to whisper to Morris, “She should feel more comfortable working with women’s computers,” and walks back into his office.

[ Switch to Chloe in the conference room ]

Chloe: I wish I had my taser.

[ Switch back to the office ]

It’s all that Morris can do to hold Chloe back. She finally calms down and walks over to Angela to help her. Morris goes into Michael’s office to help him.

Commercial

11:40 am – Chloe works on Angela’s computer while Angela stands next to her. Chloe says, “I like your poster.” The man sitting next to Angela’s desk rolls his eyes.

Angela seems pleased. “Why, thank you. Have you been with the company a long time?”

Chloe pauses and says, “No, not long. We’re both new, to this job.”

Angela says, “Oh, you knew each other before?”

Chloe says, “You could say that. We were married. We’re divorced now.”

Angela prickles at this. “Oh. How disappointing.” She walks away.

Chloe looks around to be sure no one is watching, and types a few commands to try and contact CTU’s computers, but is unsuccessful. She pounds the desk in frustration. A heavy-set man across from Chloe says, “I know. I couldn’t find it either. Angela must have come in on the weekend and taken solitaire off of all of the computers.”

11:42 am – Morris works on Michael’s computer.

Morris says, “I can’t believe this. I’ve never seen an e-mail inbox this full before. Or all this extra junk you’ve downloaded! It’s a wonder this computer runs at all.”

Michael responds, “Why thank you! I work really hard on this. With all the typing. And mousing. And hard driving.”

Morris says, “That’s not…”

11:44 am – He’s interrupted by a young Indian woman who comes running into the room, speaking very quickly, “Omigawd! Omigawd! I’m so glad you’re here to fix the computers because I haven’t been able to get on the Internet in a week and I don’t even know what to do with myself since my boyfriend moved away a few months ago I haven’t had anyone that can fix it and it’s so important for me to keep up with all the world events like Paris and Lindsay and how quickly Tom and Katie’s daughter is growing up, not to mention all the great Internet sales going on that I haven’t even been able to look at for such a long time and with the new fashions coming out this month I’m SOOO desperate to find something I can wear.” She leaves.

Morris asks Michael, “Does she breathe?”

Michael says, “I don’t think so.”

11:46 am – Jack and Bill search around the warehouse stacks to see what they can find. Jack tells Bill that it looks like this is a paper company, because that’s all the stock is. Dwight is attempting to watch what Jack and Bill are doing.

[ Scene switches to Dwight in the conference room ]

Dwight: I’m still not sure they’re aliens… But if aliens do come to this planet, it makes perfect sense they would come to a paper company. Infect the world’s paper supply, and they would enslave the whole world.

11:48 am – Back upstairs in the office area, Morris comes out to tell everyone that the computer that had the infection has been cleared, and that an antidote has been placed on the network drive. He tells everyone to reboot their computers.

Michael says, “You heard the man! Creed! Stanley! That means you too!”

[ Scene switches to Creed in the conference room ]

Creed: I’m not rebooting. I learned a bit about computers over the summer, and now I run an online casino from that computer. I can’t afford the downtime.

[ Scene switches to Stanley in the conference room ]

Stanley: My computer broke three weeks ago. Still no replacement.

11:51 am – Downstairs in the warehouse, a truck rolls up to the loading dock of the warehouse. Two men get out, and look around. They start loading their truck with paper.

Dwight steps out from where he was hiding and yells, “Hey! Stop! There isn’t any paper pick up today!”

Jack and Bill run over to the truck. One of the men yells to the other, “It’s Bauer! Get him!” Jack tackles one of the men, and Bill punches the other in the face. Dwight runs upstairs.

11:53 am – Dwight bursts into the office area and yells, “Pam! Call the police! We have intruders in the warehouse! Tell them I’ll meet them down there. I have to get something from my desk!”

Dwight runs over to his desk, which is missing. He stands there, not knowing what to say.

Jim says, “Dwight, are you looking for something?”

Dwight says, “Jim, where’s my desk? I have something very important I need to get out of it.”

Jim says, “Desk? What desk? You don’t have a desk. You usually just sit on the floor and work.”

Dwight gets madder, “Jim!” He runs back out of the room.

11:55 am – In the confusion over the desk, Chloe and Morris run out of the room and back downstairs to the warehouse.

Bill is standing next to one of the men, who has been knocked out. Jack is lying on top of the other man, with his forearm over the guy’s throat. Dwight comes to the top of the stairs, and looks very alarmed at what’s going on. Jack yells, “What are you going to do with this paper? Tell us who you work for!”

Dwight runs downstairs, and says, “The police are on their way. What’s going on here? Who are you people?”

11:57 am – There’s a flash of light. Morris, Chloe, Bill, Jack and the two men disappear.

Dwight is dumbfounded, and after a minute realizes he was right all along. “They WERE aliens… !”

Jack, Chloe, Morris and Bill stand on a sidewalk on a busy street.

11:59 am – Back in the office, Dwight is standing on top of Jim’s desk, looking through the ceiling tiles at his desk, which now sits on boards in the ceiling. The desk has been reassembled exactly as it was when it was on the floor.

12:00 noon – Time’s up!

American Version of IT Crowd Might Not Become Reality

The Hollywood Reporter is saying that NBC might be reconsidering putting “The IT Crowd” on American television.

That would be a real shame.  The British version of the show is great, and I had hopes it would turn into a good translation of the show (like The Office).   Apparently, people that the studio are more worried that it would turn out like the failed American version of “Coupling”.

Honolulu Symphony Toyota Pops To Play LOST Music

An ABC press release announced composer Michael Giacchio brings the music of LOST to Honolulu, where it will be played by the Honolulu Symphony Toyota Pops, conducted by Tim Simonec. Terry O’Quinn will be a guest, narrating passages while the music plays.

If you’ve been to Magiclamp.org before, you know how much I like the show LOST… but I have to ask: What could Terry O’Quinn (that’s Locke, for you LOST newbies) be narrating during a concert like that? Haiku? Poems? Limericks?

There was once a man named Locke,
Who pressed numbers in front of clock,
He decided he was wrong,
Pressing those numbers so long,
And in the end was in for a shock.

Nah, I don’t see it.

Anyway, the concert is on Saturday, Sept 22, 2007 at 7:30 at the Waikiki Shell.