Previously on 24: We learned that: Jack’s father practices VERY tough love; Gray is now an even more appropriate name for Jack’s brother; The very scary looking vice president has a very non-scary name: “Noah” and is currently being housed in a plane somewhere over the United States; Engineers are so scarce in California that people are recruiting them at gun point.
The following summary takes place between 1 pm and 2 pm:
1:00 pm – Jack, flying in the JackCopter, calls Chloe to find out where Morris might be, but she has trouble with the recent Microsoft upgrade. Jack talks to Bill and lets him know that Gray is dead. Jack says that it’d be great if Bill would tell Gray’s wife and son about Gray’s anatomy. Milo goes to talk to Bill about Chloe. Milo says she’s screwing up. Chloe, who despite being the best analyst they have at CTU for many seasons running, is immediately sent to the dugout by Bill. You’d think Bill would know better than that. Milo nearly immediately finds a great picture of Morris being abducted, and it looks like Jack’s plan is to sneak up on them using his helicopter.
1:04 pm – McCarthy’s girlfriend is driving while he holds a gun on Morris, who gives a complete breakdown on who they are, just to prove that he’s been doing his homework.
1:06 pm – Jack somehow forgot to bring his quiet helicopter, and McCarthy hears it. The girlfriend drives really wildly, because everyone knows that it’s easy to ditch a helicopter, especially with Jack following you. There’s a lot of wild driving, and McCarthy gives his girlfriend a few tips on how to drive especially wildly. The car drives under the 110 interchange, and Jack loses sight of them.
1:07 pm – Fortunately for McCarthy, there’s an Avis rental dealership underneath the bypass and he starts looking for a rock to start the car. Meanwhile, Morris tries to get the girlfriend, Rita, to unlock the keys to his handcuffs, even promising to give her some really cool looking shoes, but it doesn’t work. Rita does seem to be a bit surprised to find out that the nuclear weapon that went off was due to her boyfriend, but she still doesn’t help Morris after he tells her that.
1:08 pm – Jack’s helicopter lands at one of the conveniently located helicopter drop-off points for carpools, and he gets out and hops around on a few car roofs to get down.
1:09 pm – McCarthy finds a pickup truck he likes, they all get in, and they drive off. Meanwhile, Jack has everything completely under control by pulling a gun on an empty car. Jack looks mad that he fell for the old “switch cars under the over pass” trick. Milo tells Jack that he can’t figure out where the car went, so they lost McCarthy. Chloe looks at Milo as he apologizes, and gives him that “you’re an amateur” look.
1:10 pm – Fayed and McCarthy talk on the phone. Fayed is getting impatient, because it’s been a few hours since he’s had an engineer, and he really wants one right away. Fayed tells McCarthy he has the money. McCarthy stops the truck for some reason, and starts up the Garmin GPS. Rita must work for Tom-Tom, because she just out and out shoots McCarthy, and dumps his body on the road. Since it’s California, the proper authorities will be alerted in a few days.
Morris is pretty happy about this until he realizes that Rita just wants to have the money for herself! People in LA that just want money? Who would have thought?
Commercial
1:16 pm – At the White House bunker, we find out that Lennox was behind getting Wayne to be president. Turns out all he had to do was go over to his house and ask! Wow, there are going to be a lot of senators and governors pretty surprised that’s all it took for Wayne to be come president! An aide walks in, and tells him that Assad’s starship just landed, and that he’ll be materializing at the bunker shortly.
1:17 pm – Lennox storms off, and finds his #2 weasel guy, Reid. Lennox gets mad at some furniture and pushes it over while whining about not having any of his ideas listened to. Wayne is putting forth his own agenda! How dare he! Lennox says he’s going to resign. (I bet Haig will be mad about that). Reid, realizing his job will be gone if Lennox leaves, tries to convince him to stay, but Lennox won’t listen.
1:18 pm – Reid is even more of a weasel than we thought, because he’s on the phone with someone named Carson. Reid tells Carson everything. Carson tells Reid that Lennox might stay if he finds out what they’re planning, and I’m guessing it’s not a new Starbuck’s store. Reid goes off to see if he can convince Lennox to stay.
1:20 pm – Milo tells Bill can’t figure out how to get to the right pictures, because there are way too many in his Flickr account. Gray’s wife and son enter CTU, looking none too sure about the place. They must have heard about the gas canisters from last season.
Bill asks Mrs. Gray if they can act dramatically in another room, and she agrees. Bill tells her that Gray is dead, which she takes remarkably well. Bill says that they’re bringing Gray’s body to CTU for an autopsy, which will be easy since they’re so used to doing them, what with all the bodies Jack is always bringing in. Bill gets Josh and tells him to go act dramatically in the other room with his mother.
1:22 pm – Milo gets a call from Jack, who wants to talk to Bill. Jack’s found McCarthy’s body and is checking it for loose change, gum, and directions to Fayed’s secret hideout, but he doesn’t find anything. Jack does find a cell phone that received a phone call about five minutes ago, and asks for a trace. Bill asks the obvious, “Do you think the call was to Fayed?” Jack tells him that since McCarthy probably didn’t call for an ambulance, that yes, it was probably Fayed. Jack uploads the phone data to CTU so Milo can look at it.
1:23 pm – Over in the Terrorist Apartment Complex, Rita wanders down the hall with Morris to Fayed’s apartment. They enter, and Rita is surprised that they have a strict dress code for women there, and she and Morris are immediately searched. Rita tells Fayed that McCarthy is out on the street waiting. Morris tries a “I’m not the data analyst you’re looking for” mind trick on Fayed, but it doesn’t work. Rita wants the money now, and Fayed says that she’ll have to wait.
1:25 pm – Fayed tells Morris that he has to make devices to arm the nuclear weapons. Morris takes a quick look around, doesn’t see the necessary Radio Shack parts there, and tells Fayed that he won’t do it. One of Fayed’s guys hits Morris, who falls to the ground. Fayed pulls out a PSP and tells Morris to mod it to use with the bombs. Morris still refuses, so Fayed’s guys start hitting Morris with bats (the “ouch” kind, not the “flutter” kind). That is definitely not going to help Morris figure out how to program that thing.
Commercial
1:29 pm – Jack wants to know why it’s taking so long for Milo to figure out how to make a phone trace. Chloe wants to try, and makes the trace in seconds, WHILE she’s talking to Milo. That’s our Chloe! The location is given to Jack, who drives off in a crescendo of dramatic music. Bill tries to give Milo credit for it, but Milo tells him it was Chloe. Bill wants Chloe to go back to work.
1:31 pm – In the presidential bunker, Assad comes to visit with Wayne under armed guard, which promptly waits outside while they both go into the bunker conference room. No one seems to think there’s a problem with leaving him with President Wayne. Wayne and Assad chit-chat for a while, and Wayne hatches a plan to get Assad onto TV. He wants Assad to give a speech to all the extremists out in the world, and to let them know that they should give up, because it’s time for peace. Wayne says he’s pretty sure that most of their caves get cable, so they’ll be able to reach most of them. Assad says he doesn’t want to be a puppet, and Wayne says that he shouldn’t be so quick to dismiss that because you can make a lot of licensing money that way. Wayne tells Assad that they can’t wait for him to decide when to make the peace deal announcement.
1:34 pm – Jack’s out in front of the Terrorist Apartment Complex with a bunch guys holding weapons they look anxious to use, and one of them has set a perimeter. I swear I heard him say, “All Hail The Perimeter Maker Curtis!”, but that might have been a backfiring truck. Anyway, they have some people in plain clothes watching Fayed’s building, which should make them stick out like sore thumbs in fashion conscience California. They have TAC teams outside, but the building hasn’t been CTU-enabled, so there are no cameras inside. They think Morris and Rita are inside.
1:35 pm – Jack talks to Bill and it’s going to take a while to find people inside the building, so they decide to set off a fire alarm.
1:36 pm – Back at Fayed’s apartment, they’re giving Morris a bath, but they don’t seem to be very good at it. The alarm goes off, and everyone’s confused for a few seconds. One of them starts singing “School’s Out” but stops when Fayed smashes the alarm on the wall.
1:37 pm – Fayed realizes that CTU knows they’re there, and gets out a big terrorist drill which he uses on Morris’s shoulder, not even thinking that that might be Morris’s typing arm. He threatens Morris that he’ll do it some more if he doesn’t help.
1:38 pm – Rita bursts in and says that she just wants to leave, without the money. Fayed takes the fact that she wants to leave WITHOUT the money as a personal insult and shoots her. He starts the drill up again, and Morris agrees to do the work before Fayed has a chance to use it.
Commercial
1:43 pm – Reid walks into Lennox’s office, and tells Lennox he can’t resign. Lennox says he can’t change Wayne’s mind. Reid then says, “What if I told you that the climate could change?” Lennox launches into a speech about global warming until Reid interrupts him and says that there are other people that believe a change in leadership would be a good thing. Lennox wants to know who these people are, and Reid says that he was just speaking abstractly. Lennox says he doesn’t speak “abstract”, and wants to know who the people are. Reid really gives a BIG hint that the vice-president might be taking over soon. Lennox doesn’t go along with this, and Reid seems pretty surprised.
1:45 pm – A firefighter on a bullhorn is talking to people about 10 feet away from him, and they look pretty annoyed. CTU downloads a bunch of info to Jack, and they pinpoint where the terrorists probably are, along with a drug dealer and a handicapped old woman who is probably scared out of her wits right now.
1:46 pm – Back at the terrorist apartment, Morris tries to explain it’s going to take some extra time to do the work, especially since his arm still REALLY hurts.
1:47 pm – Jack’s weapon of choice this time is a shotgun, and he’s working his way to the apartment.
1:47 pm – Morris completes the programming he needs to do, and we see a little nuclear pacman eating dots across the screen. They bring out a silver suitcase with a nuclear weapon in it, from the nuclear weapon closet they’ve been keeping it in. They tell Morris to “Arm it! Arm it!” while hitting Morris’ drilled shoulder, laughing at their little pun. Fayed tries it, it works, and he takes the suitcase away. He tells one of his thugs to kill Morris, who looks pretty disappointed about this new development.
1:48 pm –Explosion through a wall! Shooting all over the place! They really make up for the lack of shooting the last couple of episodes, but still seem to miss Fayed leaving the apartment. Someone forgot to watch the front door! They find Morris, and he’s alive. Chloe looks happy as she gets this news.
1:49 pm – A CTU tactical guy walks in and tells Jack about a nice little package in the next room. Jack kneels down, opens it, and it’s a nuclear weapon. In the understatement of the season so far, he says “CTU, we have a problem”, and asks if anyone from Apollo 13 is available.
Commercial
1:55 pm – Chloe promptly captures the title of understatement of the year when she tells Jack that he needs to “be careful”. They discuss the bomb, it’s explosive properties, and how they might be able to disarm it. Despite this, one of the guys starts talking to Jack about how Fayed escaped, how he got away in a helicopter, and what the weather is like. This tactical guy is lucky Jack doesn’t shoot him in the thigh, just to get him to shut up. Chloe continues to give Jack instructions, and accidentally tells him the wrong info. Fortunately, she gets an updated Acrobat Reader, downloads a new schematic, and saves the day just in time.
1:57 pm – Jack’s pretty happy that everything is over, until Morris tells him that Fayed now has a nuclear arming device that works. This annoys Jack.
1:59 pm – Back at the White House bunker, Lennox gets info from CTU about Fayed still being at large. He calls Reid, and tells him to tear up the resignation letter. Lennox says he wants to discuss the climate again!
2:00 pm – Time’s up!
NEXT TIME: Is in a few minutes…
Be sure and catch all of Steve’s summaries of Season 6 of “24”!
The Steve Pietrowicz 24 synopsis is one of the funniest things I’ve read in a very long time. Thanks!
Thanks, Keith!